Then Sings My Soul Read online

  Tricia and Shanell jumped up from the sofa and rushed to Hazel's side. They hugged. "Momma..." Shanell started.

  Hazel stopped her. "You both stay here with Ma'dear. I'll be right back," she said, and followed the officer upstairs.

  The lock on the door had been completely shattered as if it had been kicked it. Hazel entered cautiously behind the policeman and Mr. Frazier. The furniture was not disturbed but every drawer had been pulled out and its contents dumped on the floor. It was a hurried job, as if the thief were looking for something in particular. "Probably money to buy drugs," the policeman said. "Can you tell if anything is missing?"

  "I don't know," said Hazel as she surveyed the apartment. "What do I do now? Does somebody come and take fingerprints or what?"

  "I can take a report and send you a copy to give to your insurance company. I'd like to talk to your daughters about what happened," he said.

  "They weren't here at the time," Mr. Frazier responded. Hazel felt a sense of relief.

  After the officer had gone, Tricia and Shanell helped put things back in order before bringing Ma'dear upstairs. After several phone calls to the manager, he came and fixed the lock. While both Tricia and Shanell stayed with their grandmother in her room, Hazel went into the kitchen, climbed up on the stool and checked the shelf above the cabinet. The money and the book were still there. Once everything had quieted down, Hazel called the girls in and asked them what had happened.

  "We went to the market like you told us to," Tricia said, "When we came back, we noticed that the door was open."

  "We went downstairs and told Mr. Frazier who called the police," Shanell said. "Then you came back."

  "Do you think it has anything to do with Donald's money?" asked Tricia.

  "I don't know," Hazel said with a sigh. "I hope not."

  Chapter 27 - Ma'dear

  I dreamed of Willie Joe that night. In my dreams I saw him standing in front of me wearing the same suit I buried him in. He was holding out his arms and saying something to me, gesturing like he wanted me to come to him. Then just as suddenly I was in a empty room all by myself. The walls were blue and there weren't any windows. In a corner I saw something that looked like mist. I couldn't see clearly. I heard voices but I didn't see nobody. I spied a door and I ran to it and tried to open it, but I couldn't. It was locked. When I turned around it seemed like the mist had gotten thicker and was rolling towards me like it wanted to cover me. I started running, trying to get away. It kept getting closer and closer. Then I screamed so loud, I woke myself up. My nightgown was soaked and I was trembling.

  I got out of bed, walked over to the kitchen sink, and drew a glass of water. I stood by the window looking down at the empty street. Sleep had gone. I knew I'd be awake the rest of the night. My thoughts was on Sadie and Willie Joe and what Madame LaFontaine had said about the spell. "I can't take the spell off but I can turn it around to the person who put it on you." Sadie. I was sure it was her that took away my husband and deprived my son of a father. If it was the last thing I did, I vowed I'd get back at her.

  It took me a few months to get up enough money to go back to Madame. I sold Willie Joe's Buick and some other things, saved every penny I earned until I had enough. Then I went back to her apartment.

  ****

  "Course I remember you, Honey. You Esther's friend the one whose husband had that spell put on him. I was wondering if you'd come back."

  I handed her the money and waited while she counted it. She stuffed it in her bosom and told me to sit down. "Would you like some tea?" she asked. "I'll be right back." She disappeared into another room.

  When Esther first took me to Madame's, I hadn't paid any attention to her apartment. But now as I sat there alone, I looked around. An old upright piano sat against the wall. On it was a lot of pictures, of her family, I supposed. Some dressed modern; others looked like they had been taken long ago because the people in them had on clothes like they wore in the last century. There was a big picture of Marcus Garvey hung on one wall and on another wall, a picture of Christ on the cross. The room was crowded with furniture, too much for the size of the apartment. Most of the furniture was covered with brightly colored throws. Next to the sofa was two overstuffed chairs, a coffee table with a strange looking lamp on it.

  On the windowsill were about fifteen colorful bottles. A breeze blew through the curtain

  It was a cheerful room though I didn't feel in no way cheerful wondering if I was doing the right thing. My stomach was bubbling over. I heard a man's voice and some children laughing, reminding me of little Melvin. I wanted to see him so bad. It had been a while. When I get this mess cleared up, I promised myself I'd go down south, get him and bring him home.

  "Here we are." Madame LaFontaine set down a tray with two cups, a teapot and a plate. "And here's some cookies I thought you might like."

  Next she handed me a small box. "Don't open it now! When you get home, take out the powder, and sprinkle it on some dollar bills. Then give the bills to the person you want to put the spell on."

  "That's all I have to do is give her some money?"

  "That's all. Watch you don't touch the powder!" She cautioned. Then she smiled. "Now let's have some tea and cookies," she said pouring the hot brewed tea into my cup. I hesitated. She laughed. "Don't be afraid. I ain't trying to poison you."

  When I got home, I set the box on the table. I hadn't talked to Sadie in over a year. In fact, I wasn't even sure where she lived or if she was still in the city. What am I gonna tell her I'm giving her money for? So many thoughts went through my mind. I started to open the box. It was so small, like a box a ring would come in. How could something so small contain something that could turn a person's life around? I wasn't superstitious, at least not like Esther. No, I decided. I'll leave revenge up to God. Didn't it say in the Bible "'Vengeance is Mine', saith the Lord." I put the box up on the shelf in the back of my closet, went into the bathroom and took a bath.

  A few months later as I was coming up out of the subway, who should I run into but Sadie. She was strolling along Lenox Ave. with her arm linked through the arm of a man I vaguely remembered. When she saw me, her face lit up.

  "Sarah, Lord have mercy. I ain't seen you in ages. Heard you had gone back down South." She hugged me and gave me a peck on the cheek. "I'm so sorry. When I heard about Willie Joe, I was shocked. Forgive me for not calling you."

  My heart was beating fast. The thought about what she may have done to Willie Joe flashed through my mind. I couldn't think of a thing to say. On the outside, I smiled but on the inside, I trembled.

  She was dressed in a tight flowered dress and high-heeled pumps. On her head was a blue pillbox hat that matched her purse. I glanced down at my drab gray dress and low-heeled work shoes. My hair, pulled back into a bun, made me look twice as old as she. The run in my stockings seemed to be creeping up my leg as we talked.

  "You remember Harry from way back when." The man beside her looked familiar to me but I couldn't place him. He squinted his eyes at me. Then a big smile spread across his face.

  "Sarah? Yeah, I remember now. Didn't you use to go with Willie Joe?"

  "We was married," I said, a thick lump gathering in my throat.

  Sadie held out her hand to show me a small diamond ring.

  "Harry and me's married." Her arm linked through his, she batted her eyes at him. "You should come over and visit with us sometime. We can catch up on old times."

  "I just remembered. Willie Joe left some money for me to give to you," I said. I don't know where that came from. It just popped into my head.

  "Money?" Sadie frowned. "Willie Joe didn't owe me no money. But I can always use some. Not that my baby don't keep me well supplied." She pulled him closer and gave him a peck on the cheek. He squeezed her shoulders. "Here, let me give you my address." She opened her purse, pulled out a scrap of paper, wrote her number on it and handed it to me. "We gotta go. It sure is good seeing you."

  We made a date for me
to visit her on Sunday. I watched them walk away. Then I rushed home.

  Reaching into the closet, I felt for the small box I'd put there. I carried it over to the table. Taking five one-dollar bills, almost a week's wages, from my purse, I spread them out on newspaper. For the first time, I lifted the lid from the box. In it was a tiny amount of white powder, about a tablespoon full. After putting on the rubber gloves I use when I'm working, I sprinkled the powder over the bills, shook off the extra onto the newspaper. Then I placed the bills into an envelope, sealed it shut and placed it on the mantle until Sunday. Next I tossed the gloves into the trashcan, took the newspaper over to the stove and burned it along with the small box. Sunday was three days away.

  Chapter 28 - Tricia

  Momma got ready for school. As she ran out the door, she cautioned us, as usual, about not opening the door to strangers and making sure we looked after Ma'dear. It had been a while since she went to her classes at the University and since she had only a few more weeks before school was over, she hoped to finish up and not have to drop out. It had also been several weeks since that trouble with Donald and whatever he was involved in. Things seemed to have calmed down.

  Graduation was only a month away. If I wanted to graduate, I knew I needed to buckle down, so I put my singing engagements on hold; not that there were many. Actually I hadn't heard from anybody since that gig with Big Jim. I talked to Gracie a couple of times but then she went South to see about her little boy. Kanisha had dropped out of sight. So everything was cool.

  Ma'dear was making steady progress. She was able to sit up and watch TV. Still she couldn't talk without a lot of effort. I was beginning to like having her live here with us even if I did have to babysit her when I came in from school. Is that the right word, babysit? Do you babysit a grown up? Shanell liked to go in and watch TV with her. The other day, I heard her talking to Ma'dear. I couldn't tell if she was listening. She seemed to be asleep, but Shanell was babbling on and on about boyfriends. I admitted I felt jealous that she could talk to Ma'dear and not to me and I was her big sister. Then I shrugged it off. At least with Shanell talking to Ma'dear, she spent less time arguing with me.

  One time I was standing outside the room. I heard Shanell asking Ma'dear about having babies. I mean, she came right out and asked Ma'dear how do you know if you're going to have a baby? I don't think Ma'dear was even awake. When I walked in, she changed the subject.

  But I was curious. My sister had been acting funny lately. Sometimes I'd hear her in the bathroom throwing up and when I asked her about it, she'd say it was something she ate. So when I heard her talking to Ma'dear about babies, it suddenly hit me; Shanell must be pregnant!

  As soon as we were alone, I asked her. She glanced at me with her mouth open, looking like I hit her. Tears spilled down her cheeks.

  "Why you ask me that?" All of a sudden, she was busy picking up her clothes and things in the room and putting them away. I waited until she stopped. Finally she lay down on the bed, her face hidden in the pillow. "I don't know," she muttered. "I think so."

  "Who's the father? Was it that boy I caught you with a few months ago?"

  She didn't answer. I sat down beside her on her bed and stroked her back. As if we didn't have enough trouble, I thought, now this. Suddenly she looked like a little girl. I wanted to hug her like I use to do when she was younger and got hurt.

  "Are you sure? When was the last time you had your period?"

  "I can't remember. Maybe over a month ago. What am I gonna do?" she asked.

  Every month Momma questioned us about our period. We had to tell her when it started, because she was afraid we'd get pregnant. She cautioned us over and over again. I remembered Shanell told her just last week that she was menstruating.

  "Tricia, you gotta help me!"

  I wanted to say, 'serves you right' but I didn't. This was news Momma didn't need to hear. Since this is the first time Shanell had asked me for help since she became a teenager, I couldn't let her down. My mind raced. Shanell was only fourteen, too young to care for a child. She could hardly take care of herself. Her future would be messed up. Putting a child up for adoption would be hard. Then I thought of Gracie. If anybody would know what to do in a situation like this, she would. I looked up her aunt's number in South Carolina and called her. Luckily I reached her.

  After she filled me in on how things were going with her and her family, she said, "Child, this place is so boring. I can't wait to get back to civilization. Sometimes I wonder if these white people know slavery ended long ago." When she finished complaining, I told her why I called.

  "Gracie, do you know any place where they give abortions without a parent's consent?"

  "Girl, don't tell me you and Darien finally did it?"

  "No, it's not for me. It's for my sister Shanell."

  "You're kiddin." she said, "Isn't she only fourteen? Girls these days are too fast, though I had my son when I was fifteen." I heard a crash in the distance. "Hold on a minute," Gracie said. She dropped the phone. "I told you not to climb on that chair! And stop pulling on that cord or I'm gonna smack your behind." She came back on. "Sorry about that. Offhand I can't think of the name of the place I went to once. Maybe it'll come to me. How far along is she?"

  "I don't know. She's not showing or anything."

  "That don't mean much."

  I'll probably catch hell from Momma about the phone bill, but once Gracie got talking, it was hard to get her to stop. Right in the middle of telling me about a man she met, she remembered the name of the clinic. I grabbed a pencil and wrote down the name. After I hung up, I looked up the name in the yellow pages. It was way across town, in the neighborhood where we use to live.

  "I'll meet you right after school and we'll go over there together," I told Shanell.

  "But what about Ma'dear? The nurse leaves at 3:30 and we can't leave her alone."

  "I'll have to think of something," I said.

  The look Shanell gave me made tears come to my eyes. She didn't say anything as she hugged me.

  *****

  After school the next day, I hurried over to Shanell's school which wasn't far from mine. She was waiting for me by the front gate.

  "The clinic closes at 5:00. We won't have time to go home to see about Ma'dear and make it there before it closes."

  This morning I told nurse we'd be a little late getting home. I asked her if she'd stay and she said we'd better be home by 4:00 because she had other things to do.

  We caught the bus to south Central. It let us off in front of a raggedy looking building. I could tell Shanell was scared. I was, too. The clinic was on the first floor; the room was crowded mostly with women who stared at us. The receptionist behind a glass panel asked us what we wanted. She didn't look very friendly. Handing me a form to fill out, she asked what medical insurance we had.

  "We don't have medical insurance. How much does it cost for an exam?"

  When she told me, I knew we couldn't afford it. I felt like I had let Shanell down.

  "Maybe if find a gig that'll pay enough money..." I said

  "That's alright, Tricia. I appreciate your help. I guess I'll have to tell Momma."

  It was 4:45 when we got home. The nurse was fit to be tied. She said she was gonna tell Momma and she was charging us overtime. "You young people have no sense of responsibility! Don't think about nobody but yourselves." She slammed the door behind her. I looked in on Ma'dear and saw she was sound asleep.

  I couldn't understand why the nurse was so upset. Ma'dear doesn't cause any trouble. And we weren't all that late.

  Shanell was sitting at the kitchen table with her head in her hands. She wiped tears from her eyes and looked up at me when I came in.

  "I'm gonna tell Momma tonight, Tricia."

  "Wait, give me a few days and I'll come up with something. Momma's got enough to worry about without adding this to it." What about the money Donald left? I could take what we needed and get it back when I could. It was a thought.<
br />
  Shanell agreed to wait until Thursday.

  That evening when everyone was asleep, I sneaked into the kitchen, pulled the stool over to the cabinet and climbed up on it. I reached into the envelope where Momma had put the money and drew out $300.00. That should be enough.

  The next day, instead of going to school, I took Shanell back over to the clinic. This time she got to see the doctor. He examined her, gave her a test, and said he'd call us in a few days. I told him I'd call him.

  As we rode home, a thought suddenly struck me. Shanell was only fourteen and no longer a virgin. She was still a kid. I was almost eighteen. What was I saving myself for?

  Chapter 29 - Hazel

  The phone rang waking her from a sound sleep. Without thought, Hazel reached for the lamp and switched it on. Glancing groggily at the clock she saw that it was 3 AM.

  "Baby, you got to help me. That black book... I need it." It was Donald. Anger surged through Hazel. She sat up.

  "You got some kind of nerve. First of all, I drive all the way out to Santa Monica and you don't show. Then you wake me up at this ungodly hour!"

  He feebly apologized. "Something came up. I really need that book, it's insurance."

  "Insurance, insurance for what?"

  "I don't want you involved in this. I just need that book."

  "What about the money, Donald. $10,000. Where did you get it?"

  "Fuck the money. The book is worth ten times that," he said.

  Hazel told him all that had happened. "You can have the money and the book. I'll never forgive you for involving us in your mess."

  "Yeah, Baby. I'm real sorry. I'll take everything off your hands. But the cops aren't the only ones watching your apartment. Can you meet me..."