Then Sings My Soul Read online

  "Donald," Hazel said, sitting down on the sofa and kicking off her shoes. "Have you been here long? Did the girls offer you anything to drink, ice tea or juice?" She tried to maintain a level of disinterest in her voice. "Shanell," she called, not waiting for his response. "Bring Donald a glass of ice tea."

  Shanell brought the glass and set it on the table beside him. He smiled up at her and took a sip. After she had gone he said, "They sure have grown. How long has it been, a little over year?"

  He sat opposite her, seeming to undress her with his eyes. He knew too much about her, she thought., nervously uncrossing her legs and pulling her skirt over her knees.

  "I've got your mail. It's in this box by the door. The girls should have given it to you so you didn't have to wait." She jumped up and strode over to the door, picking up the box.

  "I wanted to see you, that's why I waited." As he took the box, barely glancing down at its contents, his hand brushed against hers. He covered her hand with his and held it. She pulled away and sat back down on the sofa.

  "Yes, long time, no see. Anyway, Donald, what have you been up to? And you never explained just why you needed to use this address."

  "I told you. I'm starting a business and until I get a post office box, I needed some other address other than my own. I sure like that outfit you're wearing. You always knew how to wear clothes." He sat down beside her. "I really miss you." He ran his fingers along her neck and reached over to kiss her hand. She jumped up.

  "You got your mail. Now, if that's all. I've got to see about Ma'dear."

  "That's right. Tricia said something about your mother staying with you. How's she doing? Not that I care. She never liked me and the feeling was mutual."

  "She's fine. From now on, I'll leave the box outside the door. That way you won't have to come in." She opened the door indicating for him to leave.

  He transferred the envelopes to his briefcase and stood up. "I appreciate your doing this for me. I promise you, as soon as I get a P.O box, I won't bother you anymore." He brushed close to her and reached out for her hand again. She didn't resist. Bringing it up to his lips, he kissed it. Staring into her eyes, he whispered in his most seductive voice,

  "Maybe we can have dinner sometime. We were magic together, remember?"

  She remembered, blood flooding into her face. That was the only good thing about him, the way he made love, a man who had had a lot of practice. He knew how to make a woman feel good. She shut her mind at the thought. Before she could reply coldly, he was gone.

  Just as Hazel closed the door, Tricia and Shanell scurried back into the room.

  "Were you girls listening again?" Hazel said. "What did I tell you about eavesdropping?"

  "We weren't listening. We were just ready if you needed us. For defense," Tricia said sliding easily down on the sofa, a magazine in her hands.

  "What did he want?" Shanell asked, following her mother into the kitchen. "We wasn't gonna let him in at first. Then Tricia remembered you had said something about him coming by to pick up some letters. Momma, I don't see what you ever saw in that man."

  "Peel these potatoes while I get dinner started." After washing her hands in the sink, she opened the refrigerator and took out a package of chicken breast.

  Taking the peeler from the drawer, Shanell picked up a potato and began to peel it. "Ugh! I can't stand his cologne. It smells stronger than Tricia's cheap perfume. And did you see all that jewelry? I hate men who wear flashy jewelry, gold necklaces and diamond rings. He must got a lot of money from somewhere."

  "It's not any of our business where he gets his money from," said Hazel, tying an apron around her waist. She glanced up at the clock. It had struck her that Donald seemed to be on the good side of his luck. One of the last times she'd seen him was when she walked out on him almost a year and a half ago. He hadn't had a job in months and didn't seem interested in getting one. He'd lie around the house and sleep all day until evening when he'd go out and stay half the night. Or when she'd come home from work and he'd have some of his hoodlum friends in, playing cards, smoking, drinking, and with music blaring. It seemed like all they did was argue until one day, she had had enough. It wasn't a healthy atmosphere for Tricia and Shanell.

  For weeks she searched and found an apartment for her and her daughters. And when he went out for the evening, they quickly packed their things, taking whatever could fit into her car and left, leaving no forwarding address.

  He called her at work until her supervisor told him "Mrs. Porter is no longer allowed to receive outside calls except in an emergency." Then he'd be waiting for her when she came out of the building pleading for her to come home. Finally she threatened to get a restraining order against him. She filed for divorce. The last time she saw him was in court when the divorce was granted. He still asked her to forgive him but for her, it was over. After seeing him today, she began to have regrets about allowing him back in her life. Oh well, it was too late now. She just hoped he'd get a P.O. box soon and that would be the end of it.

  Chapter 20 - Tricia

  Not a word from Darien since that night. I went by Music Music where he worked but all I did was look through the window at him. He didn't see me and I didn't have the nerve to go in. I tried to call him a few times. As soon as I heard his voice, I'd hang up without saying anything. I missed him.

  The other night I went to the studio to rehearse. I told Gracie about my problem and she said, "Forget him. There're enough men out there to ring your chimes a thousand times over."

  "How can you just forget somebody you love?" I asked. She didn't have an answer to that. She just laughed. Kanisha came in and we started to rehearse.

  Since that incident with Mr. Donohue, it was tense for a while but it was back to normal again. The girls knew I wouldn't just walk out on them. We worked out some great arrangements and we practiced new routines so that we'd be ready for our next gig. Harry had us booked at a local club down on Florence for Friday night. We would be singing backup for this old singer Harry said use to be popular back in the 1960s. He needed backup singers for this one night engagement. The pay wouldn't be much, but I could sure use it. With Momma not sure about whether she'd be laid off, it was just a matter of time.

  *****

  Momma called Shanell and me in for a family discussion. We didn't have family discussions often; only when something serious was about to happen like when Ma'dear was coming, or when she decided to leave Donald.

  "You all know there's been cutbacks at my job. I may be the next to go," she said. I looked at Shanell who was about to say something but Momma stopped her.

  "I know what you're going to say. How are we going to survive? Well, I don't know myself," she said. Her voice was shaky. Shanell reached out and grabbed her hand.

  "Momma, don't worry about a thing. I can quit school, get a job and help out," I said.

  "I hope it won't come to that. I just wanted you to be aware of what might happen. That's why I've been kind of hard on you two lately. I've got so much on my mind."

  She wiped a tear from her cheek. At this moment I wished I was out of school and had a good job so that I could take care of all of us. I hated to see Momma going through so much by herself. I put my arm around her shoulder.

  "Everything'll work out. You'll see," I told her. But I wasn't so sure.

  *****

  After school the next day, I had to meet Gracie and Kanisha at Club Zanzibar at 4:30 PM. to rehearse with Big Jim Thornton. I was nervous because I heard some pretty bad things about Big Jim. I heard he was hard on backup singers. Kanisha said he was a perfectionist, that if you sang one wrong note, he'd stop everything and embarrass you in front of everyone. He might even ask you to leave right then and there.

  Club Zanzibar was one of those clubs that had been around for ages. I heard some big names use to play there, people like Billy Holiday and Dinah Washington, old singers I read about in some old Jet magazine I borrowed from the lady next door. Mrs. Rose saved everythin
g. She had a garage that was too full to hold her car. It was stuffed with old magazines and newspapers that probably went back to the Civil War.

  The Club use to be one of the top clubs in its day. I walked in and right away my eyes were drawn to the walls. They were covered with black and white autographed photos of Nat King Cole, Ella Fitzgerald, Charlie Parker, Fats Waller and others. I stared up at them.

  "Can I help you, little lady? You looking for your daddy? You ain't the police are you? Trying to take away my license," he laughed. I jumped as I turned around. The man looked like a scarecrow, all skin and bones, with a bald head and a nice crooked smile. He wore a rumpled suit jacket and navy blue pants that looked a size too big.

  "I'm looking for my friends, Kanisha and Gracie. We're supposed to sing backup for Big Jim Thornton tonight. We're going to rehearse," I said, my voice shook.

  "Ain't seen nobody. At least not yet. Say, how old are you?" He raised his eyebrows, inspecting me like I was a juicy piece of steak. "You old enough to be in here?" Taking off his jacket, he went behind the bar, hung it up, and rolled up his sleeves. In spite of his skinny frame, his arms looked strong like iron pipes. He switched on the TV mounted above the bar.

  I glanced down at my hands. "Do you mind if I wait over by the jukebox?" I asked, knowing I sounded like a little child and wishing I could disappear into the shadows. My stomach fluttered as I moved quickly across the floor to the jukebox.

  "Say Hey man. What's happening? Gimme a double bourbon on the rocks and make it quick. Working for the man gives me the shakes. Gotta have something to calm me down." I watched a tall heavy-set man who looked like a bear in a pin stripped suit stroll up to the bar. On his face was a wide grin that grew wider when he looked over at me. On his head he wore a leather cap that he tipped at me.

  "Give the little lady whatever she wants, too."

  "Down, Jackson. She's a minor. Your eyes must be getting bad. Don't give me that jive about working for the man. You ain't done a day's work in your life. Least wise nothing that would even break a sweat across your brow."

  The bartender gave him a drink and he strolled over to where I was standing. "My name's Jackson. What's yours?" I told him. He held out his hand and took mine gently stroking it. "You sure got pretty hands, soft delicate." He stared at me. "What are you doing in a place like this?" He gestured towards the room.

  "We're singing backup tonight for Big Jim Thornton."

  "How old are you? You not twenty-one are you? If you're not, you better not let anybody catch you. Don't want my man Sam to lose his license." He put his hand in his pants pocket and pulled out four quarters. "Play anything you like."

  While I was looking over the songs, a woman walked through the door.

  "Hey Jackson," she called over to him as she slid onto the barstool. "Come over here. I got a bone to pick with you."

  She lit a cigarette and crossed her legs. She wore a dress that looked just a little too tight and emphasized the bulges around her middle. Though she glanced over at me, she didn't say anything. Jackson waved at her as he walked towards the bar.

  "I'll send you over something, non-alcoholic," he said over his shoulder.

  A few minutes later, the bartender brought over a glass of coke filled with ice. I thanked him.

  "Say, little miss. When you finish, I'd feel much better if you would leave. You're not allowed in here unless you're twenty-one," Mr. Sam said.

  "But I'm waiting for some people. We're supposed to sing here tonight," I protested. Damn, I wish I hadn't been so anxious to see this place. If I had waited and come with Gracie and Kanisha, then maybe nobody would have noticed me. I really wanted to do this gig. Just as I was about to leave, Gracie and Kanisha walked in. I rushed over to meet them.

  "The bartender said I have to leave because I'm underage."

  "You didn't tell him how old you are, did you?" Kanisha asked. "She's gonna screw up this gig for us," she said to Gracie. I felt myself getting annoyed.

  "You can always get somebody else." I started to walk out.

  "Not at this late date. You should have waited for us before you went in."

  "Don't worry," Gracie said. "The bartender leaves at five. And he won't be here tonight. We'll have Tricia fixed up and looking like she's thirty when we come back. I'll go over and talk to him. Maybe he'll let us rehearse for a while. Get used to the place. I'll make up something. Y'all wait here."

  I stood by the door. Kanisha went with Gracie and I saw them talking to the bartender. After a short while, they came back. Gracie was smiling.

  "He says it's okay. As long as you stay in the background."

  We went over to the piano and Kanisha began to run through some of our songs. A half hour later, Big Jim Thornton walked in. He was a huge man who looked just like his picture. He was over six feet and looked like he weighed at least 300 lbs. He sweated a lot and kept a towel hanging out his waistband. He greeted us with a wave of his hand and started ordering his musicians around, three guys—a saxophone player, a bassist, and a drummer. They set up quickly and Big Jim sat down at the piano and warmed up. "Let's see what you girls can do," he said after he'd played through one of his numbers. "You've heard my recording of "Swamp City Blues," haven't you? All you got to do is do what you heard on my record." He jumped off into the song; his band leaped in after the first four bars. Gracie, Kanisha and I found our note and ran after him. At first it was going great, then suddenly he stopped and banged down on the piano.

  "What the fuck's going on? Somebody's off key. I thought you girls knew what you were doing?"

  I was confused. Nobody was off key as far as I could tell. Gracie, Kanisha and I looked at each other. Kanisha started to say something but Big Jim cut her off.

  "I don't want to hear no goddamn excuses. You either get it right or get the hell out." Then he demonstrated what he wanted us to do. I was shaking in my boots through the rest of the rehearsal. He didn't stop anymore. I guess we did all right because he said he'd see us back at the club tonight at 8:30 pm. He mopped his forehead, grabbed his jacket and hat and headed towards the bar. Mr. Sam handed him a shot glass of something. He drank it in one gulp, set the glass on the counter and walked out.

  I hadn't paid any attention to the musicians until now. The saxophone player came over and apologized. "Sorry. Big Jim's like that. Don't let him scare you. Just do what you did today and everything'll be all right. By the way, my name's Hi C." He put out his hand for each of us to shake. "Hi C," Gracie asked. "What kind of name is that?" She laughed.

  "Named after my father. His name was E flat." We all laughed, Gracie and me, that is. Kanisha was in the telephone booth. Gracie whispered she had to use the little girls' room. As he was putting his sax in a case, he asked me, "Your first time singing backup?" I told him this was the first time we would be singing in a nightclub. "But not the first time we've sang back up. Mostly in the studio. And we've never backed up anybody as famous as Big Jim."

  He looked like he was in his late twenties, younger than the other guys. He was short, a little taller than me and stocky, not fat, just solid. On his head was one of those African hats made of Kente cloth. He had on a Dashiki to match and dark pants. I liked his smile. He smelled like cigarettes and aftershave lotion. He said he'd been playing with Big Jim for about a year. "Big Jim's on his way out. This'll probably be my last gig with him. I'm thinking about starting my own jazz combo. You like jazz?"

  "I don't get a chance to listen to it much. But I do like Phyllis Hyman and Al Jarreau." We went on like that until Gracie came back and said they were leaving.

  "See you tonight," Hi C said and left along with the other musicians.

  "He's cute," I said to Gracie.

  "Forgot Darien already? You go girl. Anyway, we gotta be coordinated. What color should we wear? I got this cute pink number."

  "Pink!" I said. "I don't have anything pink. Besides, we gonna be in the background. We can't be standing out."

  "You're right. How about dark
green? I think I can find something green in my closet. See if you can find a green blouse, or skirt; something sexy and that makes you look older. Drop by my pad and we'll come down here together." Kanisha joined us as we walked toward Gracie's car. Gracie told her what color we had decided on. "Hop in. I'll take you home."

  Kanisha jumped in the back seat. I sat in the front beside Gracie.

  "The man's a trip," Kanisha said settling in the back. She pulled out a joint and started to light it.

  "Girl, don't be starting that shit in my car. You want to get us busted?" Gracie yelled. I rolled down my window.

  "Don't be so scared. Nobody gives a shit about what I'm doing. Besides, I need to come down."

  Gracie pulled over to the curb. "You put that mess out right now or you can get out and walk. There's a time and place for everything."

  Kanisha took one last draw and gently rubbed it out in the ashtray. She wrapped the butt in a tissue and put it in her purse. We drove on for a while not saying anything. I hoped Kanisha wouldn't get stoned by evening though I knew she'd be high. She usually was. At least when she was wasted she was not so much of a bitch as she was when she was sober. Gracie dropped her off first.

  "I hope she’s not too high tonight," Gracie said like she was reading my thoughts. "I think I'd better pick her up early just to make sure."

  When she dropped me off, I barely waved goodbye. I thought about what I was going to wear tonight for my first important signing engagement. Even though we were just singing backup, you never know who might be in the audience. Suddenly it came to me. I knew what I'd wear. My new sequined green dress, the one I bought a while ago and had been saving for just this occasion.

  Chapter 21 - Shanell

  Shanell put her head down on the desk at school. She heard her teacher call her, but she didn't feel like answering. All she could think of was the way Shay passed by her in the hall and didn't even look her way. He had his arm around Paulette's shoulder. Paulette with her long blond hair and creamy white skin was a cheerleader and very popular. They were laughing at something he had whispered in her ear. Shanell was tempted to say something to him. Instead she shrank back into the corner of the hall and prayed Shay wouldn't notice her. He didn't. Now in class, all she felt was a sinking feeling in her stomach. She wished she could leave the planet, disappear, go to another school, get away, anything but be here at this time.